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  • Book Review, Discovering the Inner Mother by Bethany Webster

    Mother’s Day and Wounding

    It is here again. Mother’s Day. A good portion of my work as a therapist involves looking to family of origin issues. A large part spotlights the relationship the client has/had with their mother. I see so much pain with clients who do not have the relationship with their mother they would like, do not have the mother they feel they deserved, do not have a mother at all due to various reasons, feel a sense of shame compared to others who have idealized mother relationships, as well as those who carry grief, loss, abuse, neglect, disenfranchised grief, infertility, estrangement, etc.

    Take good care of yourself today. Many have immense pain on Mother’s Day and carry that around silently while others are enjoying a wonderful day. Do your best to know you are not alone with feelings that are not often represented in our society on a larger scale. Healing is a process.

    What is The Mother Wound®?

    In 2013, Bethany Webster published a blog article identifying and discussing The Mother Wound®. As a therapist, this is a key concept to have in mind with clients, as this can manifest in relationship to self and relationship to other issues. The term is not a diagnosis; more of a way of defining a relational perspective that can inform many facets of one’s life.

    Bethany defines the mother wound as, “The Mother Wound is the pain rooted in our relationship with our mothers that is passed down from generation to generation in patriarchal cultures and has a profound effect on our lives. When left unresolved, we pass on the Mother Wounds our mothers and grandmothers before us failed to heal, which consist of toxic and oppressive beliefs, ideals, perceptions and choices about ourselves, others, and all of life itself.”

    My Book Review

    Anyone who knows me, knows I am an avid book reader. There is something about seeing on my bookcase all of the knowledge I have gained and the time invested reverberating back to me. I love to share books that may help clients with their own process.

    Bethany’s book, published in 2021 is excellent as it gives a name and a voice to what many carry without knowing what or why that may be. I am a firm believer in self-exploration as it relates to reading books and exposing oneself to psychoeducation materials as a complement to being in therapy. Being able to see perspective shifts over time in self-beliefs as well as grow in one’s understanding to self is part of growth mindset.

    To those who carry a pervasive sadness as a result of a mothering loss of any type; this book can aid in your knowledge base. This book is especially written for people who identify with generational mothering dynamics. I recommend developing and growing a base self-compassion to accompany you with your reading. (I receive no monetary gain or other benefit from this book review).