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  • 5 Warning Signs for Your Relationship

    When you first fell in love, you could never imagine that someday the sound of your partner chewing could make you want to scream. It’s inevitable that once we are out of our honeymoon phase and reality sets in, we realize that all relationships take work and compromise. But while some couples may hit bumps in the road every so often, other couples find themselves in bigger trouble.

    If you are in a relationship that is no longer feeling healthy, here are 5 warning signs one of you needs to speak up and begin to acknowledge the risks associated with doing nothing.

    1. There is No Longer Healthy Communication

    Once you have a communication breakdown, you are unable to rationally share thoughts, feelings, and concerns with each other. Beyond this, unhealthy communication tends to leave one or both partners feeling depressed, angry and hopeless.

    For couples with kids and a busy family life, this can be all the couple talks about at times. Transactional communication (how/what/where/when/how) is necessary in all relationships; however when it is the predominant way you communicate that is of concern. Couples need relational types of communication with one another to be attuned to one another. An example would be, ” You haven’t said much about the impact of your father’s declining health on you. Can you share with me how you are feeling?

    2. Trust Has Been Broken

    When there has been emotional or sexual infidelity, it is very difficult for the couple to rebuild trust and repair the damage. You may often find yourself feeling disgust, anger, suspiciousness, and sorting out feelings of short or long term trauma.

    3. You’re More Like Roommates

    If you and your partner act more like roommates than romantic partners, this often indicates a lack of intimacy. Some relationships become sexless (at least one year or more without sex) which may or may not indicate concern for the couple.

    4. One or Both of You Has Begun Acting Out

    You try to mask your real feelings for as long as possible, but then you start to act out the hurt and resentment you may be feeling. For instance, if your partner has been unfaithful and you have agreed to stay in the relationship and work things out. But over time you find yourself lashing out, acting rude and trying to make them believe you are having an affair so they will feel the same kind of hurt. This acting out is unhealthy for both people and is a BIG indicator you need to seek some help.

    5. When the Only “Solution” Seems to be Separation/Divorce

    A short or long term break from negative energy could be very helpful to the relationship. Some partners could feel potential relief about having either separation or divorce on the table. Some may use these 2 words as a form of ultimatum; desiring an active solution to a potentially passively built relational dynamic.

    It is important to keep in mind that all relationships are co-created. If you recognize you are struggling with any of these warning signs in your relationship, please reach out to me to discuss modern relationship therapy options 1:1.